hi friends! no more #bumpdates over here, since baby cole made his arrival not that long ago. what i’m doing instead is to document the “fourth trimester.” what is the fourth trimester, exactly? it’s technically baby’s first three months OUTSIDE the womb [vs. the trimesters it spends inside], but i also wanted to include mama in this. i remember feeling really bewildered and lonely while on maternity leave the first time around [which pretty much amounted to most of the fourth trimester] and can vividly remember me telling other moms and dads “around three months is when it gets good and just gets better and better!” learning about the fourth trimester makes a ton of sense, because it’s a really fragile + pivotal period in baby/yours/your SO’s lives.
my goal is to document on a weekly basis how we are all doing – physically, mentally, emotionally – as a sort of diary [similar to my #bumpdates] for myself to look back on. my ultimate hope is that any other moms in this period can identify with pieces of my journey and feel not so alone.
all that being said, here’s my first offish fourth trimester rundown!
physically: i keep comparing this time around to when i had logan, so in comparison, i feel SO MUCH BETTER. i think i had discounted how hard it was to be in varying stages of labor for 30+ hours before i had my c-section with logan. having it planned this time around is so much better. my swelling is subsiding [i did not realize you still got pitocin with a planned c-section, and boy does that stuff make you puff up]. i also credit being active throughout my pregnancy with how much better i feel, so much quicker. the only meds i’ve had post-surgery are tylenol and motrin, and staying on top of that helps.
i have only weighed myself a couple of times since being home, partly out of curiosity and partly out of mental preparedness [i really EVENTUALLY want to fit in my old clothes again], and i’ve lost just a little over half of what i gained with cole. if my body is anything like it was with logan, these last 15ish lbs will be the ones i have to work to lose. right now, that’s not my priority, though — establishing a good milk supply and making sure i can care for my family is. i also want to get cleared to work out as soon as possible [hopefully at 6 weeks], so i’m taking it easy in an effort to not mess up my incision + any other healing. following doc’s orders!
nursing is going well, thankfully, and i’m able to start building my stash. logan weaned herself around 10.5 months and we didn’t have a good supply built up, so we had to supplement formula for the last little bit [which i was FULLY on board with! #fedisbest to me]. that being said, if i can build up a supply now, it’ll cause less stress on me later when i return to work and have to be pumping there too. there were days i knew i didn’t pump enough for the next day for logan, and that just sucked. no pun intended. because i’m nursing, i’m RAVENOUS. my whole third trimester i couldn’t fit much in my stomach, and the minute they pulled him out i felt my stomach and lung capacity double in size. because of that, i feel like i’m eating SO MUCH FOOD. it’s great, though, because i’m much more prone to cook for myself this time around [i’ve mentioned it before, but i lived on reeses when on mat leave with logan], so i know i’m getting good food and cole’s getting good nutrition.
mentally/emotionally: the sun is an amazing thing, holy hannah. having a spring baby is night and day different from being cooped up all winter, but i really underestimated how nice it is to see the sun. it’s been rainy and cloudy for a good portion of the last week, and we had one sunny day that just made everything better. cole and i got outside for a little bit, and i foresee the rest of our summer spent on walks and in the fresh air [within reason, considering he’s a newborn]. because of that, i feel like it’s helping me mentally to stay upbeat and not go totally stir-crazy. the other thing that’s giving me more ‘energy’ is this blog. it’s nice to have a way to exercise my creative outlet and channel energy into something other than trying to “sleep when the baby sleeps.” i’m also killing the multitasking game and have found out how much i can physically do [like write this blog post] while breastfeeding a baby.
postpartum depression/anxiety are two things i’ve really been on the lookout for as well. i didn’t have depression with logan, but looking back i had heightened anxiety – whether from just being a new mom, hormones, or some combo of the two. this time, i’m focusing on telling myself “this is just a season” while in the midst of some of the ‘down’ times [like 3am when he won’t sleep]. that helps me maintain a better mindset overall. the other thing that’s really, really bizarre is the feelings of anxiety during my milk letdown. i had no idea it was such a real thing until i mentioned it to some of my nurses in the hospital and did a little more research, and low and behold, there’s a name for it! D-MER is the brief feelings of dysphoria [sadness/negativity] during the letdown of milk when nursing. right away in the hospital, it was SO intense, and i feel incredibly lucky the feelings were short [:30 – 2 minutes max]. i was able to recognize the feelings and just let them hang until they were gone. read more about D-MER here, but if you take anything away from this, know that it’s not anything mental — it’s literally the physical response of the oxytocin levels dropping briefly. the human body is just crazy! i guess this technically should be included up in the “physical” section, but to me it feels very, very mental. the good news is it has tempered out a bit since coming home, and that combined with expecting it really makes it manageable for me.
if you’ve hung with me this far, thank you! if you just skipped to the end, i don’t blame you, it got a little long 🙂 regardless, i appreciate you spending some time in my little corner of the internet. happy wednesday!
