giving myself grace this holiday season

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the holidays are nuts. NUTS. like, so busy, so messy, and so chaotic. two years ago when i was pregnant with logan, we had just moved into our house and i feel like nesting was in full force, manifesting itself in the way of making sure i had all my decorations up by november 30th, the presents bought before the end of the first week of december, and everything else in order with a perfectly maintained home.

fast forward two years, and my life is a complete s**t-show, but in the best way possible. i’m far too busy to vaccuum every night like i did back then, not all of the gifts are bought, none of them are wrapped, and i just mailed our christmas cards out today. and by “i mailed”, i mean joey, because i was literally too busy to swing by the post office. and here are all the things i’m CHOOSING to be busy with [because, yes, busy is a choice to me]:

  1. my work. yep, i said it. my job keeps me busy, in the office and out of the office. i CHOOSE to work at least an hour a night at home, because i CHOOSE to lean in and try to be really good at my job. i’m also in a new role, so there’s a lot to learn, and lot to lean into, and a lot to execute on.
  2. my sleep. what? weird, i know, because if you’re a mom, sleep should be the FIRST thing to go. but i’m pregnant, i get up early, and i choose to go to bed at or before 10pm. could i be a lot more productive if i stayed up late? sure, but it would probably result in a pretty non-productive, tired me during the day. vicious cycle.
  3. spending time with my family. i could have stayed home and cleaned the other night when joey, logan, and my MIL went to look at christmas lights. i didn’t, though. you know why? because logan’s only going to be this age once, and to see her lose her mind at how cool the christmas lights were was worth the crumbs on the counter and dog hair on the floor. also, i was promised dairy queen outta the deal.
  4. this blog – my north. i choose to spend time writing here instead of doing other things because this is a release for me. i get enjoyment from it. i’m halfway through my first year on here, and i’m still really enjoying myself. in fact, i have some fun updates i’ll be working on while i’m off next week and can really lean in on making this the best possible experience for you AND me 🙂

i’m 100% ok with all of this. so what that my christmas cards didn’t go out until less than a week before christmas? and so what that there aren’t presents wrapped under my tree [yet]? i’m learning to give myself grace. having a clean home does not mean that it’s a happy home, but spending time with my family ensures that we have happy memories. logan won’t remember that i cleaned the counters after every meal she ate, but she will remember when we went and looked at “my christmas!!!!” lights + got ice cream. that’s what matters.

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